Chapter 21: Soulmates Reconsidered
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On “The Good Place”, Janet makes and reabsorbs Derek, her rebound guy; Tahani and Jason almost get married; and Eleanor reveals to Chidi their love from a previous reboot. On the podcast, David Shyovitz and Jon roam through Talmudic and medieval Jewish texts about soulmates – whether they are earthly or for the next world, whether they are decreed on high or discovered in life, and what the stakes of those questions really are in Jewish thought.
Texts
(Go to Jewish Lexicon on this site for more on Jewish terminology, names of texts and other background. The links here in the citations take you to the specific quotes in their full contexts.)
Our discussion started with a reference to sotah, a ritual in the Torah in Numbers 5:11-13 for when a man suspected his wife of adultery. As we mention, the premise of that ritual and passage is highly misogynistic and one-sided, and it is one of the most difficult passages in the whole Torah. The teaching that follows, which we discussed, does not rely on the Torah ritual.
Babylonian Talmud Sotah 2a
Rav Shmuel bar Rav Yitzḥak says: When Reish Lakish would introduce his discussion of the Torah passage of sotah he would say this: Heaven matches a woman to a man only according to his actions, as it is stated: “For the rod of wickedness shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous”(Psalms 125:3). Rabba bar bar Ḥana says that Rabbi Yoḥanan says: And it is as difficult to match a couple together as was the splitting of the Red Sea, as it is stated “God makes the solitary individuals dwell in a house; He brings out prisoners into prosperity/ties.” (Psalms 68:7).
Is that so? Didn’t Rav Yehuda say that Rav says: Forty days before an embryo is formed a Divine Voice issues forth and says: The daughter of so-and-so is to so-and-so; such and such a house is to so-and-so; such and such a field is to so-and-so? This is not difficult. One is with regard to a first match, and one is with regard to a second match.
Midrash Bereshit Rabbah 68:4
A Roman matron asked Rabbi Yosi ben Halafta, "In how many days did God create the world?" He said, "In six, as it is said, 'Since six days God made...' (Exodus 20:11) "And since then," she asked, "what has God been doing?" "God sits and makes matches: the daughter of this one to that one, the wife [i.e. widow] of this one to that one, the money of this one to that one," responded R. Yosi. "And for merely this you believe in God!" she said. "Even I can do that. I have many slaves, both male and female. In no time at all, I can match them for marriage." Said R. Yosi:"Though this may be an easy thing for you to do, for God it is as difficult as splitting the Sea of Reeds." Whereupon, Rabbi Yosi took his leave.
What did she do? The matron lined up a thousand male and a thousand female slaves and said: You marry you -- and married them all off that night. The next day, one slave had his head bashed in, another had lost an eye, while a third hobbled because of a broken leg. She said to them: "What happened to you?" and each woman said to her: "I don't want this one,” and each man said to her, “I don’t want this one.” Immediately, she sent for and summoned R. Yosi and she said: "There is no God like your God, and your Torah is true, pleasing and praiseworthy. You spoke wisely." He said to her, "Didn't I tell you? If it appears easy in your eyes, it is as difficult for the Blessed Holy One as splitting the sea."
Midrash Bereshit Rabbah 8:1
Commenting on Genesis 1:27 and 5:2 (“male and female God created them”) and Genesis 2:22 (God took one of the man’s ribs and fashioned it into the woman)
Said Rabbi Shmuel bar Nachmani: In the hour when the Blessed Holy One created the first human, God created it double-faced, then split it and made it backs, a back here and a back there, as it is said, “Back and forward You formed me” (Psalm 139:5). They objected to him: But it says, “God took one of his ribs (Hebrew: tzal’otav) . . . ” [Gen 2:21]! He said to them: The words means “sides” just as you would say, “And for the tzela of the tabernacle/mishkan” (Exodus 26:20), which they translate in Aramaic “for the side.”
Links:
Moment magazine has a collection of personal stories called “Beshert”, the Yiddish term for “soulmate”, with a nice introductory essay on the concept.
Check back to our previous discussion of soulmates on our own Chapter 10.
Dr. Mara Benjamin and her book The Obligated Self: Maternal Subjectivity and Jewish Thought
Learn more about David and Jon on our Hosts page!
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